Feel The Force - A Review Of The Darth Impaler

When I was asked to review this dildo, I thought that Dan was joking. It’s common knowledge that I am NOT a size queen (quite the opposite) so when he confirmed that, yes he was serious, I knew I’d have to enlist some help. Whilst my knowledge of quality products is there, actually test driving this thing would be a problem so I called up one of my best friends who owns this product and said they would love to help. So, you’re getting 2 reviews instead- my own review of the product quality and then another review of how the product feels to actually use. Happy reading!

Size-

Eddie: Intimidating to say the least. If you’re into the bigger sizes or a challenge, it’s definitely more of an intermediate challenge than one for beginners. Comes in at a fun 9.64 inches insertable and 12.2 total, so an eye catcher in any collection.

Anon: If you’re like me and believe bigger is always better, there’s nothing to shy away from here! I couldn’t take it all (not for lack of trying) but it’s definitely a challenge I love to try again and again. 

Girth-

Eddie: The thickness isn’t completely overwhelming but definitely needs some warming up to get on to if you’re new to the bigger sizes. With dildos, length usually tends to equal more girth but this isn’t as wide as other longer dildos which is good for those who like depth without fullness.

Anon: Perfect for a feeling of fullness without being stretched too far. I’ve used this vaginally and anally (with a deep cleaning in between obviously) and honestly can’t pick which I prefer more. 

Material-

Eddie: The Impaler is made from body safe PVC which is super flexible. It’s non-porous so it's easier to clean than dildos made of cyberskin etc. The flexibility of this dildo is insane- it can bend backwards on itself and can pretty much be bent double when pressure is applied. Whilst very bendy, the dildo is firm throughout due to the girth and holds its shape. 

Anon: The texture of the veins on this is pleasurable friction without being overwhelming. It’s very similar in feel to most of my other dildos which are nice quality, easy to clean, and durable. PVC wouldn't be my first choice of material (it can melt in hot temperatures and my bedside drawer is next to a radiator) but I’m pleasantly surprised by the quality. 

Suction-

Eddie: Actually incredible compared to usual marketed products. Usable on many different surfaces and takes quite a bit of force to pull off. 

Anon: Reliable if you're really going for it. This is a dildo that’s not going to let you down, it’s super grippy on any flat surface (I prefer shower walls) and it stands up to the test of hard fucking. 

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